figlia del caos. vagabonda nell'universo. ballerina tra le foglie.

sabato 23 giugno 2012

holy crap. assestamento.

sometimes i feel sorry.
being beside me is not easy. i m not easy.
and u r choosing to be beside me. u r choosing to be with me.
fucking hell u r right. u know, the way u get angry reminds me myself. fuck.
the way u yell at me. the way u scream. fuck u r so similar to me.
and seeing ur eyes covered with tears. oh man, that s how i was. being so impertinent just to shock u and make u think twice. ooh that s me. how right u r.
yes u r right. we rn't alone, and we have to understnd each other. we have to open our mouths.
here my weakness. i tend to close myself in my shell and push everybody out. because i don't expect anybody to really want to come over.
i was feeling angry. then sad. then angry again. telling myself that, after all, everything was just as i was so frightening expecting.
starting to sending to the hell everything. and then feeling u and a punch in my stomach. in the same time. no man, please don't let me down.
and then yell at u. u shouting at me. keeping the distances. not being so sure about anything.
but firmly close in my shell. no, u r n't going to play with me. ehi i told u i hate lies. as long as i saw the world crapped around me. as long as i saw how people can be corrupted.
and no, i don't feel better, or worse. i just feel different. i don't simply accept what i have because it's not too bad. i want the good. i don't like to erase what i don't like just to be more confortable. i want to be really happy for what i have.
i hear u speaking and it's becoming harder to keep my point. starting to realise that the problem is not only u. it's me as well. but i keep being in my shell. u know i'm not ready to come out.
and u come to me. and hug me. and u tell me how important i am for u. i'm the most important person in ur life now. i know what u mean. that's what i feel as well. that's why i m so scared.
how come that u can look into my eyes in that way? how come that u see myself like this? how come that u don't run away? how come that u hug me so strong and u want to make me happy.
u know how difficult i am. u see how close i am. and u want to make me happy. that's crazy, u know this?
e poi ti accarezzo dolcemente. ho solo voglia di stare tra le tue braccia. the little chain in my neck has never been more beautiful. i'm still adapting myself to this situation. the fact that i'm not alone.

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