figlia del caos. vagabonda nell'universo. ballerina tra le foglie.

mercoledì 25 aprile 2012

up and down.

guidata da un comandante ubriaco. i'm not allowed to have a look in the map.

i have to make some decisions. what i want to do. where i am going.

the only thing i can feel are bruises. cut allover my skin. my mouth. my hands.  premeditate falling. that's what i have to face. it seems like i have no power at all.
a glance cheat on me. on my words. on your behaviour.
i would like to be able to run after u, kick u, and have back what is mine. but i was walking on my way, calm, naive and u suddenly  appeared. so unexpected that i could not even realise what was going on. u r too smart for me to understand ur plan.

u used to love me for what i was. i could be the ugliest, most impolite, grumpiest woman in the world. ur eyes looked at me with a shiny bright. it wasn't enough.
u look at me with a questioning glance. u make me ask to myself if i am good enough. u make me feel the happiest human being in the universe but a second after u make me touch the ground. it keeps me linked to u.
u were honest and clear with me. i could risk my life for ur words. i knew i was safe.
u make me doubt ur every single word.
ur reassuring hug were no more pleasant. no more wanted.
ur every single touch make me feel upside down.
our way was straight, we both knew where it would have ended. before i took my hand out of urs and started running as fast as i could. i deceived u.
our way is simply a mess. u can't find the beginning, the middle is a wild forest and the end...obviously we can't see it. what's happiness to me?

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